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30 November 2006 @ 06:10 pm
Title: So Much Fun (Do Not Let Kirito Get Bored)
Author: omen1x2
Rating: PG
Fandom: Pierrot
Pairing: Kirito x Jun
Summary: Kirito is bored and makes mischief. Humor everywhere.
Disclaimer: Like all fanfic writers, I twist reality to please me.

So Much Fun (Do Not Let Kirito Get Bored)

by Omen-chan

Kirito was bored.

Bad things happened when Kirito was bored.

Like the time when the rest of Pierrot mysteriously misplaced all of their cigarette packs. That had been fun. He'd laughed for hours.

Then he'd had to run and hide for the next few days, once Jun, Aiji, Kohta and Takeo had realised that he was the one responsible.

So much fun.

He didn't have any victims around this time, though.

He considered cross-dressing, but that wouldn't be anything new.

No, he wanted to try something different this time.

Jun could barely make out what Kohta was trying to say with all of his hysterical screaming.

"Kirito's what?" He momentarily wondered if it was too late to hang up. "He's crazy? Honestly, Kohta, that's nothing new-" He paused. All the blood drained out of his face. "He's having a baby?!"

Kirito was enjoying himself.

Takeo and Kohta kept staring at him as if he'd lost what little sanity he'd had left, and poor Aiji was flabbergasted. Maya, who'd arrived with him, looked as if he were dying to ask who the lucky man was, but was too polite.

Kohta whimpered and clutched Takeo's arm. "I don't want to be an uncle!"

Takeo whispered back, "Can you imagine how screwed up that poor kid will be?"

Kohta glared at him. "I was practically raised by him, you know."

"I rest my case."

"......You suck."

Jun arrived, panting, three hours later.

Kirito beamed at him. "Get lost?"

Jun leaned over, trying to catch his breath, only managing to glare at him.

Takeo handed him a bottle of water.

Jun took a sip and then threw the bottle at Kirito, drenching him.

Aiji pouted and reached into his wallet, handing ten thousand yen to Kohta. "I was sure he was going to hit him..."

Kirito toweled his hair, looking disgruntled. "I don't think I deserved that."

Jun growled at him. "How did you not?! You just took away about twenty years of my life! You don't joke about that sort of thing, Kirito!"

Aiji, Kohta, Takeo, and Maya all blinked at each other. "It was a joke?!"

Kirito ignored them. He tossed his towel into the hands of one of his ever-present lackeys. Turning back to everyone, he clasped his hands in front of him and said solemnly, "Now, we're all gathered here today-"

"To kill you?"

Kirito narrowed his eyes. Really, they didn't all have to say that. "We're all gathered here today because I Am Bored."

Several eyes twitched.

Takeo replied seriously, "Death would cure that."

Several heads nodded.

Kirito ignored them and their murderous auras. "And I thought we could all go out. Like old times."

Jun perked up. "Karaoke?"

Kirito beamed and put an arm around Jun, pulling him to his side. "Certainly!"

Jun instantly forgave him.

"But that'll be later. First..." He held up a large, scary-looking black contraption.

Everyone (except Jun, who had reverted to his old habit of cuddling into Kirito's side) backed away.

Kohta licked his lips nervously, his eyes wide. "That looks... a lot like a gun."

The other three nodded emphatically with terror. Jun, utterly oblivious, was purring.

Kirito smiled happily at all of them. "Of course! You can't play paintball without them!"

Takeo grabbed it out of Kirito's hands and took aim.

Jun stopped purring and instinctively shoved Kirito into the relative safety of the ground. He lunged for the gun, his eyes giving off a horrifying red glint.

Kohta grabbed Takeo's hand and ran for it.

Smiling tightly, Jun fired twice, spattering paint directly in the center of the duo's retreating backs. Still with his insane "must-protect-Kirito-at-any-cost" gleam in his eyes, Jun slowly turned towards Aiji and Maya.

Kirito sat on the floor, munching on some popcorn that one of his lackeys had brought him.

So much fun.

He paused.

"What the hell is Maya doing here, anyway?"

Watching the multicolored massacre, he pondered the unexpected addition of a non-Pierrot, highly puzzled.

Finally, he shrugged and decided that he didn't care. The more the massacre, after all.

He signaled for a lackey to film Jun tackling Kohta to the ground with his little brother shrieking like a little sister.

So much fun.

He made a mental note to ask Jun to bring Shouta and Koji tomorrow.


Damn, I haven't done humor in forever. I hope I haven't lost my touch.

Insane!Pierrot is so much fun. :P

Comment, please!

Fanart by badurakku:
"I don't want to be an uncle!"
Piac: Kirito Dictatorx_shock_me_x on December 1st, 2006 12:34 am (UTC)
hahahahaha awesome!!!

He considered cross-dressing, but that wouldn't be anything new.

Love it!!

As I already told you, remind me not to drink next time you post a humour fic

Hahahahahaha I want Kirito to have a baby!!!

*squee* at lapdog Jun!!
Omen-chan: Aoiomen1x2 on December 1st, 2006 12:44 am (UTC)
Yes, and I'll try to remind you the next time I do humor. Hopefully, you'll remember it yourself, though. :P

And, again, I'll think about the baby!fic idea. We'll see. :P
(no subject) - x_shock_me_x on December 1st, 2006 12:49 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on December 1st, 2006 12:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
badurakku on December 1st, 2006 12:38 am (UTC)
*dies of laughter*

Ah, that was good. *resists urge to draw the PIERROT guys playing paintball*

"What the hell is Maya doing here, anyway?"
That killed me. XD I love how Maya's just... there. (Ah, I love Maya. 8D)
Omen-chan: Junomen1x2 on December 1st, 2006 12:46 am (UTC)
*pokes in a subtle manner* I would love to see you do another fanart for my pretties. ^_______^

Yeah, the whole reason why I put him in there was because I wanted to add a "What the hell?" factor to this fic. :P
(no subject) - badurakku on December 1st, 2006 01:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on December 1st, 2006 01:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - badurakku on December 1st, 2006 01:49 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on December 1st, 2006 02:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
hakuseihakusei on December 1st, 2006 12:48 am (UTC)
"I don't want to be an uncle!"
That made me gigglesnort....
Omen-chan: bisomen1x2 on December 1st, 2006 12:55 am (UTC)
Poor Kohta and his child fear that I totally made up. XDDDDD
Lone_Star_Grllone_star_grl on December 1st, 2006 03:21 am (UTC)
"We're all gathered here today because I Am Bored."
That line killed me! XDDD
Omen-chan: Miyavi *.*omen1x2 on December 1st, 2006 03:23 am (UTC)
Thank you. Killing people with humor is one of my great joys of life. XD
yokozukiyokozuki on December 1st, 2006 04:33 am (UTC)
ZOMG CRACK!!1! XDDD I absolutely loved it. ♥_♥ That just made me laugh my ass off. Pardon me, I must go find my ass now. *glomps on the way out*
Omen-chanomen1x2 on December 1st, 2006 04:37 am (UTC)
Need any help finding it, or are you just going to have problems sitting down from now on? XD
Naoちゃん: AnCafe Teruki x Bou almost a kisssykem on December 1st, 2006 05:43 am (UTC)
*giggles like a mad person*

As if they didn't think it was obvious that it is physically impossible for a man to get pregnant to begin with HA!!!

Twas great! Thanks for the good laugh ^.^
Omen-chan: Kohta02omen1x2 on December 1st, 2006 03:37 pm (UTC)
My point behind that was basically that everyone (except Jun, who knew better) has a secret belief that Kirito is female. :P
On the 'net I go by either kiriga or tvecklingkiriga on December 1st, 2006 07:08 am (UTC)
ROFL! My friend thinks I'm crazy now, so do a lot of other peoples <-- made the mistake of reading this in school

First angst, then extreme humor~ I love it! ♥♥♥
Omen-chanomen1x2 on December 1st, 2006 03:38 pm (UTC)
Ah, thankies. ^^

And now the world probably thinks I'm bipolar or something. :P
(no subject) - kiriga on December 1st, 2006 04:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on December 1st, 2006 04:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kiriga on December 1st, 2006 05:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on December 1st, 2006 05:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kiriga on December 1st, 2006 05:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on December 1st, 2006 05:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kiriga on December 1st, 2006 06:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on December 1st, 2006 06:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kiriga on December 1st, 2006 06:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Ju~chandix_est_infini on December 1st, 2006 09:08 am (UTC)
thank you sooo much *gives you muffins*
maybe, someone should tell the guys about the flowers and the bees and GIRLS and boys *roooooofl*
Omen-chan: kannivalism's Ryoomen1x2 on December 1st, 2006 03:40 pm (UTC)
Oooooo... Goody. ♥ *munches on a muffin and digs through, looking for blueberry*
(no subject) - dix_est_infini on December 4th, 2006 08:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
Tsukushijuusuikan on December 1st, 2006 10:17 am (UTC)
*imagines them all in chibi character..*

Omen-chan: Kirito - Agitatoromen1x2 on December 1st, 2006 03:43 pm (UTC)
I think they'd go in and out of chibi mode for this. Can't imagine homicidal!Pierrot being cutesy while they try to kill. :P
(no subject) - juusuikan on December 12th, 2006 08:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
x-shades-of-gray-xlady_of_eons on December 1st, 2006 12:48 pm (UTC)
i giggled. all the day long.
Omen-chanomen1x2 on December 1st, 2006 03:43 pm (UTC)
Ah, thankies. No death with laughter though. *pouts* I haven't met my quota for killing people with my humor this time.
Satchansuperfreak46 on December 9th, 2006 03:58 am (UTC)
Haha, I don't want to be an uncle

Gosh, that is so gorgeous!!

Hey guess what? I found out my aunties live in Wichita. ^^ I might come visit one day. ^^
(Anonymous) on December 14th, 2006 08:13 am (UTC)
your fanfiction sucks and is poorly written.
toshiya-chan writes so much better than your crap.
don't ever become a writer. you write like a 5 year old.
Omen-chanomen1x2 on December 15th, 2006 12:06 am (UTC)
Ah, very brave of you to post anonymously to show off your shitty grammar. I don't mind people that don't like my fics commenting - I've certainly gotten it before - but you certainly aren't making much of a point here.

And, FYI, I get paid for my writing regularly. You seem to be the only person that has an issue with it.
(Anonymous) on October 10th, 2007 06:54 am (UTC)

That was hilarious!
I was surprise to see Maya in there, and thought that maybe this fic also include AijixMaya. XD It'd be awesome it did though.

I love every one of your KiritoxJun fics, and you've inspire me to write my own KiritoxJun fic, but sadly I'm too lazy right now to write it down even though I already have an idea. x__x;

Do continue writing! I'm seriously in love with your works.