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27 June 2006 @ 01:09 am
 
Title: Takeoandkohta, the Single Entity
By: omen1x2
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Pierrot with guest appearances by various JRock icons. ^^
Pairing: Takeo x Kohta, "hints" of Kirito x Jun (haha… as if I could write a fic without my pairing…)
Status: Oneshot
Summary: Joined at the hip for so long, they have finally done it. They are now, irrevocably, one person.
Special Notes: Born from the many, MANY conversations I've had with sakura121, where we discussed the one-ness that is Kohta and Takeo. Or rather, how the two of them have become completely inseparable in our minds at this point. Also, sakura121 helped me with some of it… So go hug her. ^^
Warnings: Humor. Also, shameless tie-ins to a couple of my other fics.
Disclaimer: Like all fanfic writers, I twist reality to please me. :P




Takeoandkohta, the Single Entity

By Omen-chan




Once upon a time, there were these two crabby twins. Granted, they weren't twins in real life, but mentally, they might as well be considered conjoined.

Actually, this doesn't even take place once upon a time. In fact, our story begins with a band. Or rather, two very "special" members of the band.

One, a vocalist, and the other, an adorable guitarist that looks about fifteen years younger than he really is. They shall explain just how this phenomenon has occurred.

………………

Um…. They appear to be a little busy at the moment.

So, instead, we shall turn to another member of the band.

………………

What do you mean he's nowhere to be found?!

Oh.

Oooooooohhhh…

Well, it seems that our last resort inside informant has buggered off, saying something about, "needing to network and he really didn't feel like talking about the neverending sex machines." Whatever that means.

So it seems that our only option is to meet with the two themselves.

Or rather, one.

"Well, it all started about two days ago…"

The "other" pokes the blonde and shakes his head. "No, it didn't! We first had sex five years ago!"

The blonde blushes and pokes the other one right back. "Shut up, Takeo! They don't have to know that!"

"Well, I just want them to have their facts straight."

"'Straight' isn't exactly the term I'd go for right here."

"……"



Two days ago, our heroes awoke to find themselves, rather inexplicably… Intertwined.


"And not in the way we usually were, either."

"Shut UP, Takeo!"



And, after hours of… well, they were unable to find a cure for their dilemma, and quickly ran to an older, mature, father figure type person.


"Is she talking about me?"

"Aniki! GO PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!!!!"



Unfortunately, the father figure was also completely clueless, and decided that a fourth opinion was needed.

Apparently, this "fourth opinion" was one that the father figure needed to question privately.

And not much was accomplished behind those closed doors.


"Shinyaaaaa…. Come ba- Oh, hello! What's going on?"

"They're questioning Takeoandkohta about their… problem."

"Oh. Why do you need to be out here?"

"I don't."

"Then come back to bed."



Finally, they called upon their last hope.

Sadly, his phone appeared to be busy.


"Well, they should KNOW better! It takes people months to be able to get ahold of me on that line!"

"Dammit, I'M TRYING TO TELL A STORY HERE! STOP INTERRUPTING!"

At this point, many people began to inch away. The other half, sadly, could not.



They went to specialists…

Kyo: RAWR!
Toshiya: Interesting…

They went to doctors:

Ruki: Where the hell does this thing go?!
Aoi and Uruha: Hey, we have that same problem!


They tried an acupuncturist:

Miyavi: Heehee! Needles! What do these do? Do I poke you?


They went to gurus:

Hyde: You know, this robe thing really doesn't look that good on me.
Ken: Hand me a cigarette.


They contacted the king:

Kirito: Woohoo! This throne is so much better than my dictator's stand!
Jun: Why do I have to be the queen?
Aiji: I'm the princess! *prance*
Kirito: *falls off his throne* God damn it all to fucking hell.


They beseeched the pope:

Gackt: Who the hell voted for me to be the pope?!


They even went as far as to contact the supreme ruler of the world.

Yoshiki: I'm afraid I'm much too busy to deal with your little… problem.


Defeated, the two came to accept their lot, and returned home.



"You know, Kohta, I think I need to stop reading you bedtime stories."

"But I like bedtime stories! And Aniki is always too busy at night to read to me anymore!"

Aiji held up his hands, highly confused. "Wait, wait. Are you saying that all those times you've stayed late at Kohta's house, you were reading him BEDTIME STORIES?"

Kohta nodded vigorously. "Of course! What did you think we were doing?"

Aiji blushed and walked away quickly.

So, how did the two of you happen to get stuck?

"Oh, it turns out that we accidentally had glue instead, is all."

Instead of… What?

Takeo grinned. "Lube."




~The End~




I. Am. A. Freak. Yes I am.

And for those of you that don't know this, finferwen and, of coursesakura121 got to have sneak peaks of it. Why, you ask? Because I happened to be talking to them at the time, and since one is my fellow KiriJun nut, and the other is my fellow Pierrot nut (and also happens to be just as crazy as I am), I figured some advanced critiques would be nice. So, to the rest of you, you might want to add me on MSN. You might just get fun sneak peaks. ^^ Also, I'm posting this without a single reread. So if there's any mistakes, well… Too bad. I don't care.

Oh, and…

COMMENT. If you do not comment, rabid gerbils will come to your house and attack your furniture. :P
 
 
Current Mood: mischievousmischievous
 
 
 
finferwen: amusedfinferwen on June 27th, 2006 06:54 am (UTC)
Nooooooo! Not the rabid gerbils! That's a new lounge! *swats at them*

And on another note, SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I wish I had something more useful to say, but I don't. You're amazing. ^_^
Omen-chanomen1x2 on June 27th, 2006 03:22 pm (UTC)
lol
Well, your furniture is safe. FOR NOW. *cue evil laughter*
Thank you. ^____^ I do try to maintain my amazingness.
Seerysirigorn on June 27th, 2006 05:32 pm (UTC)
... WTF? I was so confused the whole time I was reading that. But I somehow couldn't stop laughing. Especially at the end. Poor Takeoandkohta. ^^ You're brilliant at humor.
Omen-chan: Love ♥omen1x2 on June 27th, 2006 07:54 pm (UTC)
lol
Um... Thanks? I think? I suppose I can see why you didn't really understand it. This fic came from my sick, twisted, demented, freakish mind completely whole and undiluted.

So I guess the surprising thing is that anyone understood it at all. Hmmm...
(no subject) - sirigorn on June 27th, 2006 08:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on June 27th, 2006 08:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - sirigorn on June 27th, 2006 08:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on June 27th, 2006 08:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - sirigorn on June 27th, 2006 08:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on June 27th, 2006 10:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - sirigorn on June 27th, 2006 10:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on July 6th, 2006 03:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
__Azamir__azamir on June 27th, 2006 06:04 pm (UTC)
god, you're GORGEOUS!
that was so silly. *lol*. laughes so hard, especially at Gackt being pope. hahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!1111137492

well. if you have more of those... post them!

Aza^^
Omen-chanomen1x2 on June 27th, 2006 07:55 pm (UTC)
Why, thank you! *preens* I do try. ^___^
izayoi_miki on June 27th, 2006 06:21 pm (UTC)
Oh my gods, this was brilliant! *laughing* That must have been an...awkward situation to be in... *still laughing*

Gactk as the pope and Aiji a princess...rofl!

*kisses* Great job! I really liked this one!
Omen-chan: Kirito x Junomen1x2 on June 27th, 2006 07:57 pm (UTC)
lol
I don't think they minded that much, do you? :P

And I really liked my royal family, I must admit.

*kisses back* ^______________^
Ray Hino Murataloucanet_ray on June 28th, 2006 02:40 am (UTC)
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!
Ray Hino Murataloucanet_ray on June 28th, 2006 02:41 am (UTC)
Okay... Sorry for the "XD" comment ~ XD But I couldn't think og any words to write anuy comment ~ "xD" is everything XD Oh my god. You surely has a fertile mind XDD!
(no subject) - omen1x2 on June 28th, 2006 02:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - loucanet_ray on June 28th, 2006 10:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on June 28th, 2006 02:46 am (UTC) (Expand)
☆Ky~Ky♡xquirkylove on June 28th, 2006 03:00 am (UTC)
Ahaha! Glue instead of lube ;O;! LOOOL;;; [what'd they use. -_- super glue?! *sniggers*]

XD.. who did choose Gackt to be pope *flail*

I .. like the approach you took to writing this story. Feels like a candid news reporter or something and I love it . |D
Omen-chanomen1x2 on June 28th, 2006 03:19 am (UTC)
I guess, technically, I chose Gackt to be pope. *shrugs* At least church would start getting interesting.
bananaheartx: Hee heebananaheartx on June 28th, 2006 04:05 am (UTC)
Lat comments. Not cool. Not cool.

Aoi and Uruha: Hey, we have that same problem!
xDD That killed me.

They even went as far as to contact the supreme ruler of the world.
Yes, he owns everything. He lives in L.A, so you know America is his next target. First it'll be California, then Washington, Arizona, Nevada and so own.

Wait... I live in California. I'm going to be owned by Yoshiki soon... damn.
Omen-chanomen1x2 on June 28th, 2006 04:09 am (UTC)
And.... That's a bad thing? Being owned by Yoshiki is bad? :P
(no subject) - bananaheartx on June 28th, 2006 04:18 am (UTC) (Expand)
yokozukiyokozuki on July 5th, 2006 08:02 am (UTC)
Fucking hilarious. XDDD I laughed my ass off at like every other line. If I did the quote and comment thing I'd be fucking copy-and-pasting the WHOLE THING. XD XD XD I have to give special love for the supreme ruler of the world bit, though!!!!!! squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! *jumps around like a happy maniac*
Omen-chanomen1x2 on July 5th, 2006 03:47 pm (UTC)
lmao
I am so glad you liked it. ♥

Comedy has always been kind of my thing. I only started writing angst fics a few months ago, but I've been doing comedy forever.
Sue: KiriJunnegiyou on August 19th, 2006 12:16 am (UTC)
ok, after you shocked me with this 'did you read my TakeoXkohta ff'-question...
lemme say just one thing:

Babe, you rock!!!

fucking great!!!! I couldn't stop laughing... Pope-Gackt... bwhahahahaha!
Omen-chan: Another pretty Kiri icon just for ME!omen1x2 on August 19th, 2006 12:23 am (UTC)
lol
Yay! I'm so glad I could talk you into reading it! I've been doing angst so much lately that it's kind of nice to go back to my natural genre. ^___^
(no subject) - negiyou on August 19th, 2006 12:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
quill_chan on October 9th, 2006 06:18 pm (UTC)
Making Yoshiki the supreme ruler of the world was a stroke of brilliance! XDDD And Gackt as Pope -- intersting!

♥ ♥ ♥
quill_chan on October 9th, 2006 06:18 pm (UTC)
Interesting^

*squashed*
(Deleted comment)
Omen-chanomen1x2 on May 31st, 2010 09:42 pm (UTC)
Woooooooooow, no one reads my Pierrot fics anymore. Very sad, but nonetheless true. I don't even write them anymore, not because I don't love them any less, but because the bad break-up still upsets me. Four years later. Maybe I'll finally get over it when I'm fifty, but I doubt it. XD
wildfporto43 on August 17th, 2010 09:30 am (UTC)
Loved it :-)
I read that the pope was gack I remembered a picture of him and was surprised (the pope is gackt?! I thought the myself). And then I read is line and laughed because he seemed more surprised than me.
Love your sense of humor.
Kisses,
Paula