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04 April 2006 @ 01:36 pm
Title: Tear (Or Why Jun isn’t Allowed at Kirito’s Solo Performances Anymore)
Author: omen1x2
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Pierrot
Pairing: Kirito x Jun (of course… I don’t think it’s possible for me to write something without those two liking each other.)
Status: One Shot
Summary: The title says it all, people.

Having had my fill at laughing at Kirito’s Tear pv (I’m sure I’m not alone in this), I decided it was about time Jun had a chance to join me in my eternal merriment. And I also figured it was about time I wrote another humor fic. It’s been a while. And… I’m sorry if this comes across as Kirito bashing. It’s not, I swear. I love that man with my entire body and soul, and I couldn’t ever actually bash him. I’m just teasing him unmercifully via Jun.

Tear (Or Why Jun isn’t Allowed at Kirito’s Solo Performances Anymore)
By Omen-chan

Jun ran outside for the tenth time that day and nearly screamed with laughter. He wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to keep doing it before Kirito finally caught on. But dammit, he needed to have an outlet somehow. The frustrating part was that they hadn’t even started filming yet.

After about ten minutes of uncontrolled laughter, Jun decided he was safe to go back inside and nearly ran into a small girl in a pink shirt.

“Oh, excuse me,” she said softly and ran away quickly. Jun stared after her, slightly confused.

“Uh. It’s… okay.” She was already gone. “What a weirdo.” Shrugging, he prepared himself and walked back into Kirito’s dressing room.

He nearly went back into convulsions when he saw Kirito’s pants.

Holding back his laughter heroically, he set himself in a chair beside Kirito and tried to look anywhere but at his vocalist who looked very much like a woman with bad fashion sense.

“Where’d you go, Jun?”

Choking on his restrained laughter, he replied, “Needed a smoke.”

“Oh. You could have told me. I need one too.”

“You just took one five minutes ago.”

“So did you.”

Jun had absolutely no idea how to berate Kirito for his beyond excessive smoking when his only excuse for escaping out the back door was to light up another cigarette.

“Um… Well… You’re a vocalist, Kirito. You should watch how much you smoke. You don’t want to ruin your voice, do you?”

Kirito Eyed him, looking less than amused. It wasn’t as effective as usual, considering Kirito’s more than usual feminine features.

Jun tried to think up a new excuse. He was quite pleased with himself when he did. “BATHROOM!” he shouted, as he ran out the door again.

“You’re going the wrong…” Jun was gone. He’d gotten out of there so fast, he’d left a dust cloud. “…way. What an idiot. He’s going to get himself lost.” Kirito stood up, ignoring his hairdresser, and went to find Jun before a group of fangirls did.

He bumped into his production manager at the door. “They say they’re ready, Kirito-san. Would you like to get started?”

“In a minute. I have to do something else first.” He walked past the surprised manager and started to jog in the direction he saw Jun run off to.

Five minutes later, he still had absolutely no idea where his friend could have gone. “What the… hasn’t he even figured out that he’s lost yet? Dammit. I hope he didn’t piss on something important, thinking it was a toilet.”

‘What are you talking about?”

Kirito whirled around and saw Jun walking in from the back door. ‘What the hell were you doing back there?! The bathroom’s inside the building, you dork!”

‘What are you…” Jun flushed suddenly. “Oh. Well, uh… I didn’t have to go after all. So I… uh… went outside. For some fresh air.”

Kirito stared at him. “You’re… acting really weird.”

Jun smiled nervously. “Oh. I’m just… uh… claustrophobic.”

“No you’re not. And this place is like a freaking barn. You can’t get claustrophobic in here.”

Jun looked around, a panicked look in his eyes. “I’m fine, okay!” he squeaked. “Just… Just… I’m fine!”

Kirito looked at him suspiciously before turning around and walking back to his dressing room. “Fine. But you’re not going back outside until you tell me what’s going on. We’re about to start filming.”

Jun groaned. He tried to think of something vitally urgent he had to do somewhere else. “You know, Kirito… I think I forgot to feed Rill this morning.” Jun smacked himself. Fuck, Junichi, is that the best you can do?

Kirito just rolled his eyes and kept walking. “Come on, Jun.”

Sighing, Jun followed him. Well, might as well get this over with…

On lunch break, Kirito walked toward Jun, sipping at a bottle of water. “Why the hell are you so red?”

Jun held his stomach tightly, trying to keep his laughter inside until he was safely at home. “C-Cold…” he managed. “I think I’m catching a cold.”

“Really?” Concerned, Kirito placed his hand on Jun’s forehead. “You don’t have a fever.”

Unable to control himself anymore, Jun burst into peals of laughter so loud, Kirito had to cover his ears.

When the Jun’s Laugh Concert at Full Volume had finished, Kirito warily lowered his hands and glared at Jun. “What the fuck are you laughing at?!”

Snorting and snickering still, Jun had to wait a few more moments before he was able to answer. “Y-You…”

Kirito’s eyes narrowed. Jun knew he was in the Danger Zone, but he couldn’t quite manage to care yet. It had felt really good to finally be able to laugh after hours of suppression.

“You… Those pants, Kirito! Where the hell did you find those things? And… And… You look like a girl! You really do! With that other lady in the video, it looks like a mass appeal to perverts! And… you…” He snickered again. “You really shouldn’t play the guitar, Kirito. It’s been a few years and… you’ve gotten kind of rusty.”

Jun grinned recklessly, facing certain death head on. “If you want to be a girl that bad, I guess that means you can be bottom from now on, huh?”


Hmmm… I should probably write a eulogy for Jun. I don’t know how he’d be able to say all that and live.

And I don’t think this one turned out that funny. It was more my need to rant after watching Kirito’s pv. Because, honestly, what the hell was he thinking?
Current Music: Kirito - Tear
aliale on April 4th, 2006 06:53 pm (UTC)
I agree!!! Jun-kun, that's right on the spot there!
I pit my water back into the bottom as I played Tear PV for the first time XD (thoug I love his hair cut, it's so pretty! )

maah seriously honey, I was so glad to see this! I was in need of something to read, and BOING! there you go ^^

Kirito doing bottom huh... intereeesting...*snickers* way to go Juu~! *laughs some more*
Omen-chanomen1x2 on April 4th, 2006 07:10 pm (UTC)
His haircut is pretty. Very pretty. But he still looks very girly. And it makes me giggle.

Yay! I was in serious need for writing a new humor fic. I haven't in a while... And BAM! Kirito releases his Tear pv, and it's just rife for parody!

And woohoo! Go Jun!
(no subject) - aliale on April 4th, 2006 07:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on April 4th, 2006 08:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - aliale on April 4th, 2006 08:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on April 4th, 2006 08:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - aliale on April 4th, 2006 09:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on April 4th, 2006 09:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - aliale on April 4th, 2006 09:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
hidden_forest on April 4th, 2006 07:24 pm (UTC)
yaay another fanfic^-^
lolzXP poor kirito XDDD(well not reallyXP)
Omen-chanomen1x2 on April 4th, 2006 07:33 pm (UTC)
Meh. It's definitely not my best work, and I churned it out in about ten minutes, so it's kind of rushed. And not that funny. But... Really, what was Kirito thinking? I probably won't be the last one to parody Tear.
(no subject) - hidden_forest on April 4th, 2006 07:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Suenegiyou on April 4th, 2006 07:58 pm (UTC)
okay.... uhm...
I am against Kirisolo at all but...
I like the new PV and I like his looks there (except for pants and shoes) ...the fanfic was funny, but well.... I like how he looks^^"
Omen-chanomen1x2 on April 4th, 2006 08:08 pm (UTC)
I never said I didn't like how he looked, I just said he looks like a girl. And he does. And it makes me giggle. He really, really looks like a girl. A very pretty girl. But still a girl. *goes off to watch it again and giggle some more* He's so cute! I want to put some more make-up on him and have him prance around in a dress!

And those pants need to be burned. Ugh.
MissLelizmissleliz on April 4th, 2006 08:13 pm (UTC)

<--totally loved the TEAR PV, including Kirito's outfit. XDD Especially the pants. And the hair. Loooved the hair.

I looooved this. Loooved. XDD Jun kept making me crack up. It's too bad you'll never be able to write another KxJ fic after this because he'll be DEAD. Poor Jun. XD But the last line...omigosh. Thank you for this. It really helped to cheer me up on a bad day. ^^
Omen-chanomen1x2 on April 4th, 2006 08:38 pm (UTC)
Maybe Jun was able to escape...

*hugs* What happened? Are you okay? Do you need to talk about it?
(no subject) - missleliz on April 4th, 2006 11:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on April 5th, 2006 04:44 am (UTC) (Expand)
Not for realspider_tears on April 4th, 2006 09:29 pm (UTC)
it was cute XD

but.. but... what PV? *confused*
Omen-chanomen1x2 on April 5th, 2006 04:02 am (UTC)
You haven't seen Kirito's Tear pv yet? Do you want me to upload it for you?
(no subject) - spider_tears on April 5th, 2006 07:42 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on April 5th, 2006 04:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - spider_tears on April 5th, 2006 04:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
美瑠karmik on April 4th, 2006 09:36 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! I loved this. :D At first I was a little confused because I didn't know what was so funny about the PV (I hadn't seen it) but it was good anyways! I love Jun in your fics. D: Ah crap, it pains me that I have been so stressed lately that I just haven't had the patience to read your longer fics.. Well, hopefully everything will be a bit better after the exam week and after my Japanese lessons will be over. Okay, the fact that my Japanese lessons end is saddening, but at least I'll have more time to do my work and I don't have to be so stressed over it all the time. :[
Bah. Anyways, I still love your style of writing! Thanks for cheering up my night, today has been particularly stupid, so I kinda needed this :)
Omen-chanomen1x2 on April 5th, 2006 04:04 am (UTC)
Do you want me to upload the pv? Some of my other friends haven't seen it yet, and I think I'll just make one big post with it as a download for all of you...

I'm glad you liked it! And I'm really glad it managed to cheer you up! Just keep happy, okay? *huggles*
(no subject) - karmik on April 5th, 2006 07:53 am (UTC) (Expand)
izayoi_miki on April 4th, 2006 09:55 pm (UTC)
Ow, I have a stitch in my side from laughing so much...that was absolutely brilliant! I'm glad I wasn't the only one that thought Kirito looked like a girl in that PV! *snickers*

I've read your other fics too (I'm a bad person for not reviewing -_-) and you've turned me into a Kirito/Jun fangirl! ^^ Is it okay if I add you to my friends? *begs*
Omen-chanomen1x2 on April 5th, 2006 04:06 am (UTC)
I'm extremely happy you liked it and that I've managed to turn (yet another) person into a KiriJun fangirl! But shame for not reviewing before. I love reviews, even if they're only one line long. At least I'm still getting feedback...

And of course you can add me! I love new friends!
(no subject) - izayoi_miki on April 5th, 2006 07:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on April 5th, 2006 08:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - izayoi_miki on April 5th, 2006 08:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
~Nuile~nuile on April 4th, 2006 10:56 pm (UTC)
Finally! Another fic! *hugs Omen-chan*
It was funny, even though I can't agree with Jun. (Yeah, uncontrollable laughter seems so much like him xD)
And why didn't you write about what happened AFTER Jun's statement? If he is alive and stuff like this XDD

My poor Kirito-sama, everyone laughs at you. =^_^= How can't they understand that if You look male, you mostly look bad. And the other way round - girlish style makes You younger.
Omen-chanomen1x2 on April 5th, 2006 04:08 am (UTC)
I don't have anything against Kirito's girly looks, or any JRockers girly looks. I just thought Jun would get a kick out of it.

And Kirito has a huge soft spot for Jun. So Jun probably only got a slap on the wrist and lots of pouting Kirito. Lucky Jun. No one else could ever hope to be so lucky. We'd all be dead.
(no subject) - nuile on April 5th, 2006 11:45 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on April 5th, 2006 04:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - nuile on April 5th, 2006 10:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on April 5th, 2006 11:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - nuile on April 6th, 2006 12:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on April 6th, 2006 06:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Sakura the Cookie Monstersakura121 on April 5th, 2006 12:02 am (UTC)
Jun grinned recklessly, facing certain death head on. “If you want to be a girl that bad, I guess that means you can be bottom from now on, huh?”

My favorite line in the whole fic. xDDD

The fic seriously cracked me up badly. Poor Kirito. He seriously does look like a girl in the PV. But, I love the song. xD;;;

And I love Jun in this fic. I wonder whether Kirito decided to let it slide because it's true, or simply decided to go medieval on his ass? x333
Omen-chanomen1x2 on April 5th, 2006 04:10 am (UTC)
Honestly, I think that was the only decent line in the whole thing. Everything else was... boring. Very boring. At least, it was to me.

Hmmm... Kirito is a wild card. But since it's Jun, you know the damage at least wouldn't be permanent... Kirito's such a softy when it comes to Jun. It's one of the cutest things about them.
☆Ky~Ky♡xquirkylove on April 5th, 2006 02:06 am (UTC)
o_o you know. i thought his outfit looked fine.
then this story made me rethink it XD
and i went back to watch it and yeah.. *_* .. its DEFINETELY THE PANTS. X___X;

that last sentence was good though. >XD
Omen-chanomen1x2 on April 5th, 2006 04:12 am (UTC)
His shirt was fine. I had no problem with his boots. (Although a lot of other people did.) But those pants... Ugh. Just no.
bishonendreamsbishonendreams on April 5th, 2006 04:54 am (UTC)
Damn, that's funny. I'm sure that it would be even funnier if I'd seen the PV - just how bad can his outfit be? I love Kirito, but I'm really questioning his judgement after the godawful "Smells Like Teen Spirit" cover he did.
BTW, does anyone have a link to the PV? I'm curious now...wellingtons? Seriously?
Omen-chanomen1x2 on April 5th, 2006 04:26 pm (UTC)
Re: Giggles
I'm going to add a post with the Tear pv as a download, since so many people haven't seen it yet. Just keep your eyes on my livjournal, okay?
Re: Giggles - bishonendreams on April 6th, 2006 02:39 am (UTC) (Expand)
finferwen: amusedfinferwen on April 5th, 2006 05:14 am (UTC)
You = awesome. I second the idea of writing Jun a eulogy - I doubt he'd live to see his next birthday. XD

Aww, poor Kirito. I think your pants are cool, man. I have some just like them and they look...oh. Oh. Never mind. ^^;

*pats him, avoiding teeth and nails*

If nothing else his girly-pants hide his skinny legs. ^_^
And at the risk of sounding like the blonde whatsit from Queer Eye, that hair is just fabulous on him.
Omen-chanomen1x2 on April 5th, 2006 04:28 pm (UTC)
No kidding. I'm fairly certain there will be extreme pain somewhere.

Hmm... Yes, the pants do cover his anorexic-like skinnyness... That might have been the idea...

And the hair does look fabulous on him. It just makes him look really, really girly.
Tsukushijuusuikan on April 5th, 2006 06:05 am (UTC)
Okay. The title already amused me (:
I think I broke my neck while laughing cD
You still own it!!

And I adore the PV. Maybe because it's way different and cute in a way? Well, something memorable at least! And it cheers.
It wouldn't surprise me if that was all meant like that. As a hint?

See, I do read your fics. And I'm amazed how fast Kirito put you back on the funny stuff xD

Omen-chanomen1x2 on April 5th, 2006 04:31 pm (UTC)
Ha! Yes, I've still got it! *is ridiculously proud of herself*

Honestly, I kind of like the pv, too. But it makes me giggle in ways I thought was impossible outside of a tickle fight. Kirito really, truly, looks more like a girl than I ever thought possible. Usually, with my JRockers, no matter how pretty they are, I can tell right away that they're male. But Kirito in the Tear pv... Well, that didn't happen. The only reason I knew it was Kirito was because of the face and the voice. Otherwise, I'd have thought it was his long lost sister or something.
(no subject) - juusuikan on April 5th, 2006 04:51 pm (UTC) (Expand)
lucielkatlucielkat on April 5th, 2006 06:14 am (UTC)
aww it would be nice to see what kirito would do to jun. I dont think kirito would let this pass whitout taking care off
toujin1toujin1 on April 5th, 2006 08:23 am (UTC)
okeee..i have yet to see the PV and now i'm too scared to 0_o
awesome fic!
Omen-chanomen1x2 on April 5th, 2006 04:32 pm (UTC)
I'm going to upload it as a post for all the people who read my ficcie but haven't seen the pv yet (there's quite a few of you). Keep your eyes on my lj, okay? :)