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08 August 2010 @ 11:51 am
[fic] Second Best, SuJu, G  
Title: Only Second
Author: omen1x2
Rating: G
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing(s): Sungmin + Eunhyuk, Eunhyuk + Other, KyuHyun + Sungmin
Disclaimer: Like all fanfic writers, I twist reality to please me.
Summary: Sungmin's okay with always being second best.

Only Second
by Omen-chan

It hit him that night. Hyukjae had curled into his side and sobbed into his shoulder as he sobbed his disbelief that Junsu was gone. They'd taken him away and now all Hyukjae had was the boy he was clutching at so desperately.

Sungmin knew that he was only second best. But he was there (and he always would be, he promised himself), and that was okay.

He had pulled Hyukjae even closer, as if he could be pulled right into his body, where he would always be safe. It was impossible, he knew, but he could settle for second too.

The next morning, he'd made a deal with SM Entertainment. He'd do anything, as long as they'd never seperate him from Hyukjae.

He was more than willing to be Hyukjae's anchor. Even if he wasn't the anchor Hyukjae wanted, he could at least be the one he needed.

Hyukjae was the type to fall in love constantly. He'd come to Sungmin glowing one moment, and then he'd come to cry on Sungmin's shoulder the next. He always wore his heart on his sleeve, and it had its price.

Sungmin was always careful to never be more than Hyukjae's best friend.

Sungmin's purpose was to always take the weight off of Hyukjae's shoulders, not add onto it.

It never bothered him when Hyukjae was affectionate (with Donghae, with Jungsu, with Kangin), or so he told himself. It never occurred to him that his response was to do the same (more, better) to anyone else.

It wasn't until KyuHyun came to him late one night as he practiced, eyes shining with hope and smile trembling with fear, that he realized there might be another kind of problem, and he didn't know what to do.

So he was honest, about him, about Hyukjae, for the first time, and although it quelched that heartwrenching light, it also gave him a hug. And understanding.

He'd been clear, from the beginning, that Hyukjae would always be first.

And Kyuhyun had nodded, and smiled (no fear this time, but just a hint of familiar sadness) and had said that would be fine with him.

And Sungmin had recognized that look, and decided no.

Kyuhyun didn't need to turn into him.

He was never truly dissatisfied with his life. Not really. He thrived as a member of Super Junior, as everyone's friend, and, of course, as Hyukjae's best friend. They still played and teased and snuggled as they always did, and no one ever knew.

Sungmin was such a good actor because everyone thought he was a bad one. It's just that he knew when to be good.

It was when they were apart that Sungmin got to see just how much Hyukjae clutched onto him too. Finally able to see that Hyukjae just might see how much he needed his best friend, and, for the first time, hold onto Sungmin with both hands and whisper things like "Don't go" and "Never again."

And Sungmin almost would have thought that it'd be worth it. A way for him to see that, yes, Hyukjae really does love him just as much as the others, if not more.

But it's not worth it.

He's not supposed to put Hyukjae through this. Without him, who will be Hyukjae's anchor?

So he echoes Hyukjae's "Never again" and holds him just as tight.

It's just not ever worth it.

He thrived off of those moments when Hyukjae would glow as he talked on the phone with anyone that isn't him, because he'd be right there, his head in Hyukjae's lap.

Hyukjae might be the type to reach for the untouchable, but Sungmin knew that Hyukjae never had to reach for him.

And that's all that really mattered anyway.

There's nothing wrong with being second best.


Author's Note: Okay, short and bittersweet and written in about ten minutes. I hope it doesn't suck. v_____v
Current Music: 나몰라 패밀리 (Namolla Family) - 잘못했어 (Feat. 태인)
skyelar18skyelar18 on August 9th, 2010 01:44 pm (UTC)
hi! thanks for posting this on hyukmin sarang.^^

this has somewhat captured hyukmin's relationship. we all know that sungmin has always been there for hyukjae even though hyukjae would ignore him sometimes. i just wish for hyukjae to trully appreciate min's affection to him.

anyway, saving this to my memories. great job!

Omen-chan: Kirito - Rainbow Prideomen1x2 on August 9th, 2010 03:15 pm (UTC)
Thanks for commenting! ^o^

I've always kind of felt that Hyukjae really does appreciate it in his way (wasn't it mentioned somewhere that Hyukjae loves Sungmin most out of everyone in SuJu?), it just isn't as obvious at times because he gets distracted. I mean, when he's around Junsu, he notices Junsu most, but I think that a big reason why is because he never gets to see him anymore. But since Sungmin's always with him, he doesn't have to be so blatantly affectionate all the time.

I'd kinda like to write a companion!fic with Hyukkie's POV defining that. Sometime. Eventually. Maybe. XD
skyelar18skyelar18 on August 10th, 2010 09:52 am (UTC)
they've been together the longest. yeah, i think hyukjae does appreciate min's attention and care for him. maybe he's not just as skinshippy as min. XD

omg! it would be awesome if you could write a companion!fic with Hyukkie's POV. i'm sure it will make a lot of hyukmin shippers happy. it's not everyday that we can read a hyukmin fic.^^

Omen-chan: JaeChun - AADBSK3omen1x2 on August 10th, 2010 10:21 am (UTC)
Isn't it tragic that there aren't that many HyukMin fans out there? Sadness. And after they go out of their way to tell people the most interesting things... ("Eunhyuk was my first kiss," and "Oh, we totally shower together"). XD
skyelar18skyelar18 on August 10th, 2010 12:43 pm (UTC)
Yeah, i know. There aren't any other members who do those things. Only hyukmin can and they are not even awkward after doing it. Just shows that they are really close and comfortable with each other. And i love the fact that min brings out hyuk's cuteness. XD

How i wish sj-t or supy will have a comeback. We need more hyukmin interactions.
soy sauce!whoremin on August 10th, 2010 05:17 am (UTC)
Really well done! Other than that I'm speechless; it's just fluid brilliance done simply.
Omen-chan: Nao's omen1x2 on August 10th, 2010 10:24 am (UTC)
Ooo, thank you. *snuggles* What a nice thing to saw. ♥