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17 March 2006 @ 03:20 pm
Another one!  
Title: Kirito’s Dictator’s Stand
Author: omen1x2
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Fandom: Pierrot
Pairing: Kirito x Jun (honestly, is it absolutely necessary for me to say that…)
Status: One-Shot
Summary: Something I came up with while waiting for feedback on my other one… The story behind Kirito’s Dictator’s Stand. The title is pretty self-explanatory, I think.
Warnings: Humor. You have been warned. If I hear any complaints about how you wet your pants, or something, I’m not responsible.

Kirito’s Dictator’s Stand
By Omen-chan

Kirito tried to ignore it. He tried to tell himself that it wasn’t important. He was still the band leader, etc. etc.

It still didn’t change the fact that he was the shortest member of Pierrot.

This needed to be changed. Quickly.

Platform shoes, although uncomfortable, seemed to do the trick, but he was getting tired of falling all the time. He was Kirito. He Did Not Fall. Unless he was falling on Jun. But that was always on purpose.

So, He Did Not Fall Accidentally. And He Only Fell on Jun.

Still, that didn’t help his problem. When he was flat on his ass, he was even shorter. And people laughed at him.

Okay, well, they didn’t laugh anymore. Not after what he did to Kohta that first time. But they were probably still laughing inside. And No One Laughed at Kirito.

Kirito briefly wondered whether or not Kohta had successfully removed Kirito’s boot in surgery… Then he decided he didn’t care anymore. Kohta was already taller than him. And Kirito was older. Kohta deserved to have that boot lodged there.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand.

This was, indeed, a perplexing matter. How to become taller without sacrificing his dignity? Hmmm….

A few days later…

“Has anyone seen Kirito?” Jun asked an empty room.

The Empty Room: “……”

Next door, Takeo was beginning to wonder about the mental health of the people he worked with… Jun was…

And Aiji was… He glanced over at the guitarist, who was currently playfully beginning to remove his shirt for an audience of two.

The audience of two were mesmerized, before returning to their jobs of cleaning the air vent.

And then there was Kohta. Who, in another fit of energy, seemed to be founding the Fitness Program for Energetic Bassists. As far as Takeo could tell, Kohta was the only member, which was good, because anyone else would have died under that kind of workload.

And Kirito… well, Takeo didn’t want to think about Kirito. Kirito had been crazy since they’d met. He couldn’t help but think he was the craziest one, for believing that these people were normal.

Jun walked back in. “I don’t think anyone’s seen Kirito. But I didn’t get much response from the people next door… Maybe they’re hiding him?”

Takeo decided not to reply.

Aiji walked over. “This floor’s wet…” he complained.

Takeo looked over at Kohta, the source of the wet floor.

“Honestly, can’t you go exercise in a pool? At least there’s already water there…”

Kohta ignored him and continued doing push-ups, sweating as if he had an entire ocean stored in his pores.

Takeo sighed.

Kirito walked in, looking insane excited.

Takeo began to worry. When Kirito was excited, it meant trouble for the rest of them.

“Kirito!” Jun happily gave his vocalist a quick hug.

“I have the perfect idea!” Kirito said, his arm still around Jun.

Years Later, During a Performance…

Kirito, pleased with his performance of Yuugai no Tenshi, fell off his Dictator’s Stand.

God damn it all to fucking hell…

……….And that is the story of Kirito’s Dictator’s Stand. And they all lived happily ever after…

Honestly, where the hell did I pull this from? Oh, well. You all know Kirito secretly has height-inferiority problems that he doesn’t admit to…

Please comment! Comments are pretty!
Current Music: L'Arc en Ciel - Shutting from the Sky
Suenegiyou on March 17th, 2006 09:26 pm (UTC)
just WHERE do you get all those Ideas?
Omen-chanomen1x2 on March 17th, 2006 09:52 pm (UTC)
I have no idea.

Anyone that could figure out this mystery would be deeply thanked.
(no subject) - negiyou on March 17th, 2006 09:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on March 17th, 2006 10:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - negiyou on March 18th, 2006 09:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
Kei: Dim. vis.kdelioncourt on March 17th, 2006 09:36 pm (UTC)
*laughing* That is so random and funny XD Poor little Kirito XDDDDD
Omen-chanomen1x2 on March 17th, 2006 09:52 pm (UTC)
Indeed... he just can't win.
~Nuile~nuile on March 17th, 2006 09:58 pm (UTC)
Oh YES! Kirito is creative indeed. XDD
Thank you, Omen-chan! Your fics are really amazing ^______^ And I'm saying it once again, I LOVE your humorous stories, that are funny, but not offensive! *hugs you*
Omen-chanomen1x2 on March 17th, 2006 10:24 pm (UTC)
*loves the hugs*
Thank you! I love writing humorous fics, anyone can read them without being offended... at least, I hope not.

Do you want me to add you?
belial1984 on March 17th, 2006 11:43 pm (UTC)
actually that's pretty crazy, but I like it xD
Omen-chanomen1x2 on March 18th, 2006 04:38 am (UTC)
Thank you!

And welcome to the insane workings of my mind. This is just... what I do.
MissLelizmissleliz on March 18th, 2006 01:10 am (UTC)
OMG I love you. XDDD That was just the...and...*cracks up* Your Kirito is always just so hilarious. This has made my night. XDDDD
Omen-chanomen1x2 on March 18th, 2006 04:40 am (UTC)
Why, thank you. I love you too.

I love writing humorous Kirito. He's just... so much fun. I'm glad you liked!
kyuichi18 on March 18th, 2006 01:58 am (UTC)


Funny~!! XD

I've always wondered how Kirito managed to fall off the stand... and how he continued to sing "a pill" normally as if nothing embarrasing's happened XD O_O;;;
Omen-chanomen1x2 on March 18th, 2006 04:41 am (UTC)
Kirito wa Kirito. He's just... special like that. And I imagine he's fallen off hundreds of times, that was just the only time they've caught it on film.
(no subject) - kyuichi18 on March 18th, 2006 01:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on March 18th, 2006 03:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kyuichi18 on March 19th, 2006 12:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on March 19th, 2006 05:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kyuichi18 on March 19th, 2006 12:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on March 19th, 2006 05:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kyuichi18 on March 21st, 2006 07:28 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on March 21st, 2006 07:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kyuichi18 on March 21st, 2006 07:42 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on March 21st, 2006 08:00 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kyuichi18 on March 23rd, 2006 08:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on March 23rd, 2006 08:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kyuichi18 on March 23rd, 2006 10:29 am (UTC) (Expand)
morte_maiden: vamp meev! by me!!morte_maiden on March 18th, 2006 05:35 am (UTC)
heh...I love it. You get a cookie.

Oh...and about that story....>_>.....Well, this week wasn't exactly the best for me so I didn't start it. However! I will do it this weekend! I swear on Miyavi's abs that it will be posted by Monday night! Sorry, please don't kill me.
Omen-chanomen1x2 on March 18th, 2006 06:08 am (UTC)
Weeeeee! Cookie! And I shall name you...................

Anyway, it's okay! Take your time! At least you're trying! And I feel really happy that I was able to get you into my fandom, if only a little.

And I love your oath. I'm gonna start using that, methinks.
finferwen: go ruki...finferwen on March 18th, 2006 05:57 am (UTC)
Aw, poor Kirito. XD
(Well, poor Takeo, really.)

Goddamn that must've hurt when he stacked it. *pats him, carefully avoiding being stabbed* It takes a special sort of person to retain their dignity after something like that.

Funny; I'd never really thought about him having a short-man complex. Why is it always the tiny ones with the huge voices? XD
finferwen: dorkyfinferwen on March 18th, 2006 06:00 am (UTC)
Er, I'd never really thought about him having a short-man complex because he's so gangly, even. ^^; (Whoops, train of thought got derailed by the mental image of shirtless Kyo.)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on March 18th, 2006 06:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - finferwen on March 18th, 2006 06:28 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on March 18th, 2006 06:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
Not for realspider_tears on March 18th, 2006 11:39 am (UTC)
hehehe i love your Kirito XD and Jun reminds me of a little lost puppy... O.o and aaaaiiilen puppy X.X
Omen-chanomen1x2 on March 18th, 2006 03:18 pm (UTC)
I always love writing my humorous Kirito. There's just so much I can do with him.

And I always kind of imagine Jun as a puppy. A sweet, loyal puppy that follows Kirito around.
(no subject) - spider_tears on March 18th, 2006 03:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on March 18th, 2006 03:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - spider_tears on March 18th, 2006 03:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on March 18th, 2006 03:35 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - spider_tears on March 18th, 2006 03:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
aliale on March 18th, 2006 07:48 pm (UTC)
hun..I always KNEW that there was a reason behind that damned stand XDDD
I lvoe love love your humour!!! *huggles*
Omen-chanomen1x2 on March 18th, 2006 08:21 pm (UTC)
Like I said, Kirito has to have some height inferiority problems. I mean, he's even shorter than Jun. That has to get to him.
Sakura the Cookie Monstersakura121 on March 19th, 2006 08:12 am (UTC)
MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OMFG! I remember that conversation we had about that height problem. XDD
Omen-chanomen1x2 on March 19th, 2006 08:19 am (UTC)
You know it's true. Kirito would have a height inferiority complex. He seems the type.
(no subject) - sakura121 on March 22nd, 2006 11:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on March 23rd, 2006 12:04 am (UTC) (Expand)
Ray Hino Murataloucanet_ray on March 20th, 2006 12:31 am (UTC)
How do you get this ideas? XDDD!
Oh my god XD It was great XDDDDD!!!!! *roflol*

Sorry for just commenting this now, but I didn't find time to read it earlier.
Omen-chanomen1x2 on March 20th, 2006 07:33 pm (UTC)
It's okay! Obviously, unlike me, you don't live on your computer.

And, honestly, I have no idea where these thoughts come from. Perhaps some strange, dark abyss otherwise unkwown to man...
(no subject) - loucanet_ray on March 21st, 2006 01:11 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on March 21st, 2006 05:11 am (UTC) (Expand)
Aka -- raped by the god damned suni_need_asagi on March 24th, 2006 05:24 am (UTC)

That was to funny. xD Oh I love insane Kirito. Good job. xDDDD
Omen-chanomen1x2 on March 24th, 2006 05:33 am (UTC)
Why thank you! Wee!

*adds asagi*
春歌: born apartsiliconx on March 28th, 2006 07:08 am (UTC)
Haha so funny I liked it XD poor Kirito, he'll just always be short
izayoi_miki on April 5th, 2006 09:44 pm (UTC)
*laughing hysterically* Gods, poor Kirito...Poor, short, clumsy Kirito!

*is shot by Kirito*