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27 September 2008 @ 12:02 pm
 
Title: Hypothetically
Author: omen1x2
Rating: PG
Fandom: alice nine.
Pairing: Shou + Hiroto, Tora + Nao, Tora + Saga, Tora + Hiroto, Nao + Saga, Nao + Shou, Hiroto + Nao (vaguely)... The boys being themselves, really.
Disclaimer: Like all fanfic writers, I twist reality to please me.
Summary: Hiroto can't stop poking Nao. Just a day in the strange lives of alice nine. Written for aliale.




Hypothetically

by Omen-chan



Hiroto couldn't stop poking Nao's belly, and Nao was having a very difficult time acting stern when he erupted into giggles every five seconds.

"Sto- hahahahaha - Dammit, Pon, I'm bu- hehehehehe - Why do you keep DOING- hehehehehehiccup-"

Hiroto started laughing with him. "What kind of laugh is that, Nao-kun? Who the hell laughs like that?"

"I do. Now sto-" Hiroto poked Nao's belly again, and the resulting effusion of giggles made everyone within a five mile radius feel much happier.

Tora's face was hidden in the crook of his elbow, obviously trying to avoid an innappropriate outburst of laughter that would most likely keep Nao from talking to him for days.

"Pon, I swear if you- hehehehahahahaha - Tora, I see you over there! Stop that!"

Well, it was obviously too late to keep Nao from being mad at him.

Hiroto momentarily stopped poking Nao in order to cover his ears at Tora's unnecessarily loud laughter.

Saga collapsed on Tora's shoulder, burying his face in Tora's neck, shoulders shaking.

Nao glared at them all, obviously unamused, as Hiroto removed his hands from his ears to poke Nao's stomach again. "Teeheeheehahahahahahiccup!"

Shou, the only one of the five not laughing, blinked lazily as he looked up from writing his lyrics. "What's everyone laughing at? Why's it so loud in here?"

Nao pounced on him. "Oh, thank GOD! Keep Hiroto-kun entertained! Please! You're busy, and he's bored, and he's tormenting me! And no one else will lift a finger to help! They're sadists, I tell you! Sadists! Look at them, all laugh-y and cruel!"

Saga nearly screamed with laughter into Tora's shoulder.

Nao bristled. "Ooooo, Saga-sama, you are not getting any tonight."

Everyone stared at him. Even Saga lifted wide eyes from Tora's neck.

Tora cleared his throat and diplomatically moved away from Saga. "He gets some? From you?"

Shou, Hiroto, and Tora wondered if they should be surprised. Saga contemplated being surprised himself.

Nao blushed hotly. "No. I'm just saying... He could have had. Maybe. But any chances that may or may not have existed previously are shot out of the water now. That's all."

Shou nodded. "Ah, I see. It's hypothetical sex he won't be getting tonight."

Saga tilted his head. "Does that imply I could hypothetically get sex from you tomorrow night?"

Nao sputtered. "I- Wha- NO! Well, maybe. Anybody could hypothetically get sex. Except for Pon. He pokes me, and will never have sex, hypothetically or otherwise."

"Hey!"

Tora eyed Hiroto. "Hmmm... I don't know..."

"He just meant from Nao." Shou turned to the drummer. "... Right?"

"No, I meant from anybody. Ever. Hiroto has been banned from having sex."

"Hey!"

Hiroto blinked at Shou and Tora, surprised at their outburst.

Saga waved aside the possibility of Hiroto's sexual encounters. "Okay, so hypothetically you're not sleeping with me tonight. Who would you hypothetically sleep with?"

Placing his index finger on his chin, Nao looked each of them over imperiously, nodding or shaking his head to himself.

".... Shou. He's the only one that didn't laugh."

Shou turned and beamed at everyone.

Hiroto pouted profusely, and Tora and Saga sulked.

"I don't see why Shou gets the hypothetical sex. He was too busy writing to even notice you." Hiroto gave Shou a look that clearly said he wasn't upset about Shou ignoring Nao so much as Shou ignoring him.

Nao looked at Hiroto as he considered this. "Hmmm... You're right. Guess none of you get any hypothetical sex tonight. Guess I'll have to go over to Gazette and have hypothetical sex with one of them."

Saga held up his PSP. "Or we could all play video games."

"That too. But not Pon."

"Hey!"



~fin~
 
 
 
Naoちゃん: Alice nine Tora Name Outlinedsykem on September 27th, 2008 06:26 pm (UTC)
Whoa~

Okay, I needed a laugh. Good job~ I love seeing Arisu out of you!

How've you been....I saw you like ONCE at boot camp and like...never again...did you make it?
Omen-chan: MUCC - Dorks. XDomen1x2 on September 27th, 2008 08:29 pm (UTC)
*glompses* Ah, my darling! I've missed you!

You saw me? When? 'Cause I was looking around everywhere trying to get a glimpse of you! :O

And sadly, no, I did not make it. They medically discharged me, which would be a lot lamer if it didn't mean I GET TO SEE ANGELO LIVE *pantpantpant*
inudela!inudela on September 27th, 2008 06:34 pm (UTC)
AHAHAAHHA

i loved this. it was light and funny, and exactly what I needed XDD
Omen-chan: Hiroto - Cute <3omen1x2 on September 27th, 2008 08:29 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. ^o^
(Deleted comment)
Omen-chan: Naoomen1x2 on September 27th, 2008 08:30 pm (UTC)
lmao @ your icon

Yeah, poor Pon. No sex ever again 'cause he poked Nao's belly. XD
Kei: Nao ecchikdelioncourt on September 27th, 2008 07:27 pm (UTC)
*LMAO*

"What kind of laugh is that, Nao-kun? Who the hell laughs like that?"
Dude I have wondered the same thing. So many times XDDDD

This was awesome and hilarious. I especially enjoyed the suggestions of NaoxSaga XDDD
Omen-chan: Shou - Glassesomen1x2 on September 27th, 2008 08:31 pm (UTC)
And now we have an answer (apparently)! Nao laughs like that. But of course! It was so obvious! XD

There is just something about writing Nao that just gets me so carried away. Have you noticed that? I just go hog wild with him. XD
(no subject) - kdelioncourt on September 27th, 2008 10:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on September 27th, 2008 11:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
Omen-chan: Hiroto - *drools* Abs...omen1x2 on September 27th, 2008 08:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you! ^o^
Ohoohoobeautifulgeorge on September 27th, 2008 07:29 pm (UTC)
Shou turned and beamed at everyone.

Wtf reaction. XD Haha.
Omen-chan: Shou x Hiroto Love. ^o^omen1x2 on September 27th, 2008 08:33 pm (UTC)
I think Shou wasn't thinking beyond, "Ha! I get some and no one else does!" Or maybe he has a closet crush on Nao? It's possible...
(no subject) - elvenyounglett on September 27th, 2008 09:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Omen-chan: Shou and Hirotoomen1x2 on September 27th, 2008 11:11 pm (UTC)
You're welcome! Glad you liked it. ^___^
寶欣: Ponstomponfrogs on September 27th, 2008 09:08 pm (UTC)
LOL~!!!!!! I loved how they picked on poor Pon in this. XDDDDD Nao was very adorable, too!! Hm...I wonder which member of Gazette he would get the hypothetical sex from? Is hoping it's Kai
Omen-chan: kannivalism - Ryou and Yuuchi - Hustleomen1x2 on September 27th, 2008 11:12 pm (UTC)
lol
alice nine picks on Pon who picks on Nao who picks on Pon. It makes sense, in a convoluted, complex way. XD

Who knows? Could be anyone. But if it makes you feel better, I'll say it's Kai. Who is younger than Nao, dammit. *glares at that fandom for always getting that wrong*
beyondtheremixbeyondtheremix on September 27th, 2008 09:20 pm (UTC)
XD LOL
hahahaha

pon can have anything he wants from me X3

thank you!
Omen-chan: Hiroto - *drools* Abs...omen1x2 on September 27th, 2008 11:13 pm (UTC)
Mmmmmm, yes, me too. Yummy yummy Pon pretty and stuffs.

You're welcome! ^__^
azuri218 on September 28th, 2008 01:11 am (UTC)
-Poke-
Omen-chan: Kohtaomen1x2 on September 28th, 2008 02:00 am (UTC)
*is poked* ?
A: *licks you* [Misc.]narcolepticnemu on September 28th, 2008 01:50 am (UTC)
HAHAHA! Ok, so I don't even like alice nine and never read any fics of them, but since you wrote it and I had a feeling it'd probably make me laugh, I made an exception here. And I wasn't disappointed. MAJOR LULZ @ Nao's hypothetical sex XDDDDDD

Nice work ;DDDDD
Omen-chan: Shou x Hiroto Love. ^o^omen1x2 on September 28th, 2008 02:02 am (UTC)
Awwww... My poor alice nine. *pets them* Don't worry, darlings, I love you.

I'm glad you liked it, though! It's so sweet that you like my fiction enough to read fandoms you don't care for, just 'cause it's mine. I'm so touched.
(no subject) - narcolepticnemu on September 28th, 2008 02:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on September 28th, 2008 02:29 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - narcolepticnemu on September 28th, 2008 02:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on September 28th, 2008 02:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - narcolepticnemu on September 28th, 2008 07:59 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on September 28th, 2008 04:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
whiteprayer_21 on September 28th, 2008 11:22 am (UTC)
lol, aww.

that was so cute. ^^
Omen-chan: kannivalism's Keiomen1x2 on September 28th, 2008 04:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you! ^o^
unna_rainchaser: headdeskunna_rainchaser on September 28th, 2008 03:51 pm (UTC)
what the... XD
made of awesomeness!!!1
Omen-chan: Nao's omen1x2 on September 28th, 2008 04:40 pm (UTC)
Icon = Love. XD

Thank you!
xxobscurrexxxxobscurrexx on September 28th, 2008 03:59 pm (UTC)
Hahah that was so funny and cute. XD

I loved it. ^_^
Omen-chan: Hiroto - Angelomen1x2 on September 28th, 2008 04:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! You with your pretty Pon icon. ♥
zero_dice on September 29th, 2008 01:42 am (UTC)
This was so amusing, very cute!
Omen-chan: Miyavi's Clothing is Always Optionalomen1x2 on September 29th, 2008 03:28 am (UTC)
Thank you! ^o^