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10 February 2008 @ 09:30 pm
Title: Little Things
Author: omen1x2
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: kannivalism
Pairing: Ryou + Kei, Kei + Ryou
Disclaimer: Not mine in any way.
Summary: Short little scene as Kei visits Ryou in the hospital for a serious, much-needed conversation. My idea of how Kei might help Ryou through his depression.

Little Things

by Omen-chan

Kei peeked nervously around the door, half-hoping that Ryou would just be asleep so he could come back later. No such luck.

"No need to look at me like that, Kei. I'm not going to eat you. Or jump out the window."

Kei rolled his eyes, relaxing slightly, and walked over to Ryou's bed, plunking a bag full of magazines on Ryou's lap. "How are things holding up for you? I bet you're bored as hell."

Ryou put the bag on the floor without looking inside. "I'm holding up, I guess."

There was a long silence as the two of them tried to think of something else to say. Ryou stared straight ahead at the blank television, vaguely wondering if it would be rude to turn it back on to get some sound in the room. He supposed it was about time the two of them actually had their confrontation. Kei had pointedly only come with Yuuchi before, so as to avoid being alone with him. Ryou really wasn't ready to apologize about this.

"I'm sorry."

Ryou blinked and whipped his head around to look at Kei, wide-eyed. "What the hell do you have to apologize for?"

Kei pulled his feet up into the seat and hugged his knees, childlike, and continued in a small voice. "I didn't notice. I... I should have noticed. That things were so bad for you."

Ryou shrugged. Kei hadn't noticed because Ryou hadn't wanted him to. He'd hidden it for as long as he could. He still couldn't understand how they'd managed to notice as it was. He'd really tried to keep them out of this. "You didn't need to know how fucked up I was. Am."

Kei jumped out of his chair and shoved Ryou's chest angrily. "Of course I do! This shit is just the problem! How the hell do you expect things to get better if you're always hiding it?! I'd have told you if it were me!"

"Would you? Really?"

Kei opened his mouth. Of course he would have. He loved Ryou too much to be... to be a burden. He collapsed back into his chair and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands hard enough to see stars. "No. You're right. I wouldn't... Dammit, Ryou. I still wish you'd have talked to me. Even a little. Maybe not with the big things, but maybe just with the little things. You know?"

Ryou gripped Kei's wrist and pulled his hand away from his face. "I do." He gave Kei a crooked smile and blew him a play kiss, then grew serious again when Kei didn't smile back. "I really thought things would get better. Hoped they'd get better."

Kei nodded. He could definitely see how, even depressed, Ryou would cling to the idea that there was some form of hope somewhere.

Ryou made a face. "It's way too freaky in here, and I'm hungry. I can't handle these heart-to-hearts on an empty stomach."

Kei stuck his tongue out at Ryou. "Well, you have to stay in the room while I go get you something."

"No! Why?"

Kei bounced out of his chair. He was still feeling nervous and worried and down, but he needed to act happy for Ryou, and for himself. "Because I say so. I'll be back in a bit."


"I was expecting a hamburger or something. Not horse food." Ryou glared down at his salad. "I knew I should have gone with you."

Kei held up a fast food bag tauntingly. "You mean something like this?" He cackled and held the bag over his head as Ryou lunged for it.

"No fair! I'll starve on these stupid leaves! You didn't even bring me any dressing!"

Kei pointed imperiously at Ryou's left arm. "You've been putting your cigarettes out in your arm again."

Ryou's jaw dropped. "You're going to starve me over that?! I've been doing that forever!"

"Exactly. That must have been one of the obvious little things that went straight under my radar. Well, no more. I never liked it when you did it anyway, but now I think it was a symptom of your depression." He nodded firmly. When Ryou had been hospitalized, he'd done some research, and was determined to keep Ryou from any self-mutilating behavior at all.

"What a load of - What if I don't have an ashtray?"

Kei just glared at him. He knew full well that Ryou was trying to work his way out of this, and he wasn't about to let him this time.

Ryou deflated. "....Fine. I won't do it anymore. Promise."

Kei smiled and sat down at the foot of Ryou's bed, handing him the bag of food. "Thank you."


"Did you bring your guitar?"

Kei looked up from his magazine, blinking cluelessly at Ryou. "Why?"

Ryou fiddled with his own magazine, absentmindedly tearing the edges of the pages. "I'd kinda like some music."

"Do you want me to bring you a radio?"

"I... no, that's not what I... Forget it." Ryou bent studiously over his magazine, barely even registering the characters he was pretending to read.

Kei stared at the top of Ryou's head for a long moment. "I can bring it tomorrow."

Ryou mumbled. "Thanks."

Kei's eyes crinkled in amusement and he leaned forward. Placing a hand under Ryou's chin, Kei tilted Ryou's face up and rested his forehead against Ryou's. "Need me to sing you a lullaby?"

Ryou smirked and opened his mouth to give a sarcastic reply, but then the smirk disappeared and he gulped. "Yes."

Kei moved his hand around to rub the back of Ryou's neck comfortingly. "Okay. I'll just stay over tonight to make up for the lack of lullaby, then, okay?"

Ryou leaned heavily against Kei's forehead and closed his eyes. "Okay."

Pulling away from each other slowly, they turned back to their magazines.

"Why the hell did you bring me Fool's Mate, anyway? It's not like we're in it."

"I figured you could draw on everyone. Keep you amused."

".... Did you bring any markers?"

"But of course."


I'm not even sure how this turned out. I tried really hard to make the conversation fit and show that between their intense, important conversations, they're still guys and just really good friends. And poor Yuuchi, only getting one mention. If I ever do another kannivalism fic I definitely need to make sure I give him a bigger part.
Current Mood: listlesslistless
Current Music: kannivalism - Home sick
key: riku2keyjahn on February 11th, 2008 09:33 pm (UTC)
it was a nice story...

hope he's soon better!
Omen-chan: Nao's omen1x2 on February 12th, 2008 12:10 am (UTC)
Thank you! ^____^

I'm hoping he is. They announced that the tour is back on, so maybe?
keykeyjahn on February 12th, 2008 12:13 am (UTC)
to be honest, I wish they don't!

ryou need time

time to rest and find himself again

I hope he get better!
but he should take his time
(no subject) - omen1x2 on February 12th, 2008 12:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - keyjahn on February 12th, 2008 12:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on February 12th, 2008 12:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - keyjahn on February 12th, 2008 07:36 am (UTC) (Expand)
chantrea_johari on February 12th, 2008 01:09 am (UTC)
-buts in again-

Did they? I thought they'd like...just canceled it? When did they announce it was back on? O.o
(no subject) - omen1x2 on February 12th, 2008 01:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - chantrea_johari on February 12th, 2008 01:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
Omen-chanomen1x2 on February 12th, 2008 12:08 am (UTC)
*tackles-glomps* Oh, my darling, I must send you mp3s! This band's music is just... *purrs* And Ryou's vocals are so powerful and earthy and emotional. And let me just say this - First kannivalism song must be In a Brown Study. That's one of my favorite songs ever, that is.

*whimpers and snuggles* And please, please don't be jealous. If it makes you feel any better, I was absolutely terrified with each sentence I wrote, because I wasn't so sure if it was any good (even more than my usual personal terror, just because the kannivalism fandom is goddamn underground).
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on February 12th, 2008 12:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
chantrea_johari on February 12th, 2008 01:08 am (UTC)
Agreed! "In a Brown Study" = BEST KANNIVALISM SONG EVER.

[/random butting in]
(no subject) - omen1x2 on February 12th, 2008 01:14 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - chantrea_johari on February 12th, 2008 01:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on February 12th, 2008 01:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - chantrea_johari on February 12th, 2008 01:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on February 12th, 2008 01:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - chantrea_johari on February 12th, 2008 02:00 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on February 12th, 2008 02:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
chantrea_johari on February 11th, 2008 11:16 pm (UTC)
I rather liked this fic quite a bit. I've also felt the vague nigglings to write something about the kannivalism situation, though have been busy with other fics and have yet to give into it. ^^;;

I liked the dialogue that you had between the two of them--it's really telling of how Ryou is feelings without jumping out and saying it. The unspoken things that lay beneath Ryou's words really were more striking than what he actually verbalized. The way that you displayed his depression was unique and interesting.

And on another note, the idea of Ryou and Kei drawing on a Fool's Mate is absolutely the most adorable image, especially since it's something they'd so do. ^.^ It's nice that this fic both had some depressing moments and some uplifting ones, for all of its length and general subject matter.

Good job!
Omen-chan: Kohta02omen1x2 on February 12th, 2008 12:05 am (UTC)
*nods* It was really hard for me to get to this. I think probably because I wasn't sure how to even it out. Ryou really strikes me as being the type to be really honest with his emotions all the time, but in such a way that even when he's depressed he still tries so hard to act casual and somewhat cheerful. And then I watched the Apple Ching Po Po Episode II dvd. Wow. Ryou's got some really angsty expressions going on there.

*hugs tightly* And thank you so much. Believe it or not, but you're one of the people who's opinions on writing I actually really value, and your comments are really in-depth and useful. (And yes, I totally agree with you that Ryou and Kei would doodle in Fool's Mate, and I just love that mental image. XD)
chantrea_johari on February 12th, 2008 12:08 am (UTC)
Really? lol, I'd been informed that you hated me, and thought I was a big bitch, or something. XD
(no subject) - omen1x2 on February 12th, 2008 12:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on February 12th, 2008 12:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - chantrea_johari on February 12th, 2008 12:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on February 12th, 2008 12:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - chantrea_johari on February 12th, 2008 01:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on February 12th, 2008 01:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
shinobuya: Ryoushinobuya on May 26th, 2008 08:38 am (UTC)
I really liked it
Omen-chanomen1x2 on June 2nd, 2008 02:28 am (UTC)
Thank you! ^^
It´s all about passion.: smile. mr. hamada kei.mishi_chan on March 25th, 2009 09:53 pm (UTC)
the end is hilarious!! those children are just too cute!! ♥

i like the story. it's pretty cute but still so amusing~

i wonder when he will come back and if kei will keep is solo stuff then. somehow his music really grew to me.
Omen-chan: kannivalism's Ryouomen1x2 on March 26th, 2009 07:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you! ^o^

Yeah, I'd like Ryo to come back too. But if he's happier staying behind the scenes, then I won't begrudge him that. As long as he's happy and healthy, that's what I care about. ♥