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09 August 2007 @ 01:07 pm
This is dedicated to the hilarious post Shou made in his blog.

Title: The Foot Massager and Its Discovery
Author: omen1x2
Rated: R
Fandom: Alice Nine.
Pairing: Vaguely implied Saga x Nao of the kind that is practically invisible but brings interesting interpretations to everything they do. Kinda like in real life.
Disclaimer: I wasn't anywhere near Alice Nine. when this strange discovery was made, and the following scenes were born purely from my insane mind. Really, though, it's Shou's fault for infecting me with this. :P (Apologies go to sykem, because she has already seen this).

The Foot Massager and Its Discovery

by Omen-chan

Shou: *hanging out with the other Arisu boys at Nao's apaato, playing their new obsession, Tekken*

Shou: I'm hungry. Anyone want me to get them something while I'm up?

Everyone else: *shakes their heads, deeply immersed in their mind-numbing fighting game*

Shou: *gets up and heads to the kitchen*

Five minutes later:

Shou: *runs out of the kitchen, holding a very obscene looking orange object* Ha! Nao! We have proof! We finally have proooooooooooooooof! There's no way you can talk your way out of this one!

Hiroto, Tora, Saga, and Nao: *look up at him*

Hiroto: Orya! *jumps up and walks over to it* That looks like... It couldn't be a.... *blushes deeply and hides his face in a pillow*

Tora: *turns back to his video game* Nice dildo, Nao.

Nao: *opens and closes his mouth, then manages to squeak out the first thing he can think of* It's a foot massager! A FOOT MASSAGER!

Shou: *innocently glances from Nao to the "foot massager," naively beginning to believe him, but still slightly suspicious* .... What kind of feet are you massaging, Nao?

Nao: *pokes Saga hard in the side*

Saga: *immediately speaks up* Oh, it's totally a foot massager.

Nao and Saga: *nod together quickly*

Shou, Hiroto, and Tora: *look at each other*

Shou: ............. Really?

Hiroto: 'Cause it looks like a.....

Tora: It's a dildo.

Tora: It's a fucking dildo.

Hiroto: *standing close to Shou, he peers at the..... "foot massager"* Hey, what's this button d-

Shou: *yelps and drops it as the object starts vibrating*

Saga: *calmly* Foot massager.

Shou, Hiroto, and Tora: *stare at the two of them*

Hiroto: *exchanges a silent glance with Shou, and then finally speaks up* How would you know, Saga?

Saga: I have one just like it.


There. Maybe now that post can stop haunting my brain. XD
Naoちゃん: Alice nine Nao Butterflysykem on August 9th, 2007 06:28 pm (UTC)
*dies* I have one just like it? JUST LIKE IT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

*smothers in kisses*

I'll laugh every time I see this XP
Omen-chan: Nao's omen1x2 on August 9th, 2007 06:29 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I added on the ending part just for you. I wanted to make it fun for you to read a second time through. XD *glompage*

And I am so using this icon fifty billion times. ♥
(no subject) - kestral_kitsune on August 9th, 2007 06:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - cloudsovertokyo on August 9th, 2007 08:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Des(u): tora_glassesdestiny_1989 on August 9th, 2007 07:10 pm (UTC)
Oh my fucking GAWD! I loled so hard!
Jeez, a foot massager! Priceless! =))
Omen-chanomen1x2 on August 9th, 2007 07:11 pm (UTC)
You know the funny thing? The "foot massager" part is true. XDDDDDDD
(no subject) - destiny_1989 on August 9th, 2007 07:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - andidp on August 10th, 2007 07:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - destiny_1989 on August 10th, 2007 07:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - andidp on August 10th, 2007 07:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
Omen-chan: Nao's omen1x2 on August 10th, 2007 03:06 am (UTC)
Thank you ever so much. XD

But really, I think I should give all credit for this to Shou and his amazing blog. It's only natural after seeing that that everyone should have interesting thoughts. XD
Kender: dorky Asian guy lovekinderegg88 on August 9th, 2007 07:47 pm (UTC)
..oh god. Oh god. Ohgodohgodohgodohgod. How can I possibly go to work now? I'll be thinking about this scenario ALL DAY.

'I have one just like it.' XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Dammit, I want to steal your new icon.
Omen-chan: Nao's omen1x2 on August 10th, 2007 03:14 am (UTC)
Dude,I claim absolutely zero responsibility for any disturbance you might have had during work. It's Shou's fault for being all evil and posting what he did. XD

And I'll ask Jo if you can. ^o^
Erichu: Whoremrsmurai on August 9th, 2007 08:08 pm (UTC)
Omg i love it xD The last sentence killed me xD
btw i love your icon too xD
Omen-chan: Miyavi's Clothing is Always Optionalomen1x2 on August 10th, 2007 03:17 am (UTC)
Dude, I worship my new icon too. ♥

And thank you so much! ^o^
® the bats have left my belltower ®ekucbbw on August 9th, 2007 08:55 pm (UTC)
Good lord. I want to know what that post says and have since I saw it. lmfao ... It looks so naughty that orange thing!

Is it really a foot massager? O_O
Naoちゃん: Alice nine Nao Nameishsykem on August 9th, 2007 09:20 pm (UTC)
The post pretty much says "Nao san has some interesting toys" and we've been led to believe that it is in fact a foot massager.
(no subject) - ekucbbw on August 9th, 2007 09:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
neiyaneiya on August 9th, 2007 10:04 pm (UTC)
I. just. loved. it. it's so funny! and I just love how you portrayed Tora *_______*
and the silent conversation between Nao and Saga... gorgeous!
and the last remark just killed me. really. it's my ghost writing now XD
so... it's short, but just great *____*
Omen-chan: Alice Nineomen1x2 on August 10th, 2007 03:21 am (UTC)
Yeah, Tora was my favorite part of the whole thing too. I can imagine that Tora would be the only one that they couldn't fool. XD

Thank you so much! ^o^
Kim: Aoi en Rukikiss_the_rain on August 9th, 2007 10:22 pm (UTC)
*too lazy to log on to my proper account*

I laughed so hard at this. XDD This was really funny! ^^ I loved it. <3
Omen-chan: Nao's omen1x2 on August 10th, 2007 03:23 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it! ^o^
Aninhaand_arapax on August 9th, 2007 10:24 pm (UTC)
Tora is the best! It's a fucking dildo! xD hahahaha...
You totally win!
Omen-chan: Nao's omen1x2 on August 10th, 2007 03:23 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! And yes, Tora was my favorite part too. XD
murd3r4lyf3murd3r4lyf3 on August 9th, 2007 11:31 pm (UTC)
omg shoes...
this is sooo awesome
i wonder what Saga uses HIS foot massager for...lols
this is soooo great
Omen-chan: Kirito in pretty colorsomen1x2 on August 10th, 2007 03:25 am (UTC)
Yes, I wonder what those foot massagers are used for. :P
seungjea: geekyseungjea on August 10th, 2007 12:46 am (UTC)
saga and his ... um ... foot massager
when i first started to read this, i thought a foot massager is the pillow-like thingy where you put your foot on it, but then ... ^^;;
i can soooo picture of saga OWNING something as suspicious as that!! ^^
Omen-chan: Miyavi Loves Us All ^___^omen1x2 on August 10th, 2007 03:26 am (UTC)
Honestly? I could actually see just about any of the Arisu guys owning something as suspicious as that. :P
(no subject) - seungjea on August 10th, 2007 04:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on August 10th, 2007 10:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Melodykaichou_x on August 10th, 2007 12:48 am (UTC)
oh god. shou posts the wierdest things!
Omen-chanomen1x2 on August 10th, 2007 03:27 am (UTC)
Dude, no kidding. XD
Vivian.fuzationism on August 10th, 2007 01:26 am (UTC)
lmfaoo. xD;
Omen-chan: Miyavi - Friendsomen1x2 on August 10th, 2007 03:28 am (UTC)
You laughed your ass off twice? Did it hurt? XD
(no subject) - fuzationism on August 10th, 2007 08:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on August 10th, 2007 10:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - fuzationism on August 11th, 2007 08:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)
lemonlimesweet on August 10th, 2007 04:08 am (UTC)
LMAWO! Dude that made my night. Tora was so straight up about it. I was gonna post that picture but never came around to it. Glad somebody did. And then you got it as your default. Major win.
Omen-chan: Nao's omen1x2 on August 10th, 2007 01:30 pm (UTC)
Yeah, Tora isn't fooled that easily. :P
lady_monochrome: Toungelady_monochrome on August 10th, 2007 04:25 am (UTC)
Ok, first of all: Your icon WINS. It had me laughing for sooooo long!!! I think it was because I had seen the translation of the blogs before I saw this.

Ok ok, my fave line was: Saga: *immediately speaks up* Oh, it's totally a foot massager.. ROFLMAO!!!!!!!! My mental image is just so wonderful, made me laugh even harder. XXDDDD

According to Nao it really is a foot massager but come on! When have you seen a foot massagers like that one?! It had to be a Japanese product . . . -__-"
I'm still skeptical though XD lol

tsk tsk Naughty, naughty Nao
Omen-chan: Nao's omen1x2 on August 10th, 2007 01:32 pm (UTC)
I think the real question is... How would it work as a foot massager? It looks like it only has one use to me... XD

And I shall pass on to sykem that you liked the icon she made for me. ^o^
(no subject) - lady_monochrome on August 10th, 2007 05:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omen1x2 on August 10th, 2007 10:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)