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23 March 2007 @ 09:28 pm
Title: First Impressions
Author: omen1x2
Rating: R
Fandom: Pierrot
Pairing: Jun x Kirito
Summary: Jun POV of the day where he first met Kirito. Humor, drunken fumblings, and sexy Kirito.

First Impressions

by Omen-chan

I hated my job. I hated serving drinks to already drunken sots. I hated having to withstand their inebriated come-ons while their grammar, pronunciation, and fucking coherence degenerated to the level of infancy.

And so far, this had been the worst day yet.

I could tell as soon as I walked in the door that it was going to be one of those days. Even before I'd started my shift, I started getting catcalls and whistles.

It was bad enough that the regulars knew I was a guy and hit on me anyway. But I hated the fact that every new customer believed that I'm a female until I opened my mouth.

Although it always did give me a strong feeling of satisfaction to see their faces blanche, and get away from me as quickly as possible (until they got so drunk they forgot, and the whole exchange would be repeated again).

But dammit, that didn't seem to be the case today.

I'd only been at work an hour, and my ass was already ridiculously sore from numerous hand slaps and pinches. Still, I had learned a valuable lesson from this. Apparently, my iciest glare was somewhere around the level of room temperature. In other words... nonexistent.

And I didn't need further proof that alcohol could turn the kindest, most upright men into snivelling pervs, but I seemed to be getting that fact pounded into my skull repeatedly.

As I deftly maneuvered around a tableful of the Horniest Drunks Known to Man (a good eighty percent of my aching rear was thanks to them), I saw something that made my night an all-time low.

My boss was here.

Bosses, I have learned since dropping out of high school, are generally an annoyance to be endured anywhere. But mine was infinitely worse, and I was reminded of why when he leered at me nauseatingly.

He had a thing for me.

It was bad enough he was my boss. It was bad enough he was married. But what made it infinitely worse was that the creep was twice my age, and had children the same age as me.

"Pedophile," I muttered under my breath, and caught one of my coworkers by the elbow and whispered to him frantically. "I'm going out for a smoke."

My coworker, a nice guy really, looked dubious. "Are you sure that's such a good idea? The way tonight's going for you, it's likely you'll get raped in the alley." Ah, the sweetheart. He'd noticed.

He waved past my shoulder and, confused, I turned my head, nearly jumping out of my skin at the form that had (apparently) appeared out of nowhere to stand right behind me. Seriously, even with all the noisy (and painful) ass slaps, I should have noticed.

The guy was the handsomest person I'd ever seen tonight, too. Hell, he was the handsomest person I'd seen in my life.

And I just knew that the complete and utter shock of finding a god randomly apparate near enough to me to be breathing down my neck was turning me a red to match my hair.

Who says I can't color coordinate under pressure?

Oh, hello. My coworker was apparently still talking. I hoped I didn't miss anything. "-Right, Shinya-kun?" Haha! I had learned his name. Point for Jun-chan! My coworker turned to me. "So I thought I'd introduce you two, since you have so much in common." Whoa, hello. Was he trying to set me up?

Then my coworker walked away, leaving me alone with the pretty ninja-god.

And the pretty ninja-god was looking at me expectantly.

Right, so maybe I should have listened. Negative ten points for Jun-chan. Now I had no idea what was going on.

"Um..." I prayed fervently that I hadn't been introduced yet. "I'm Yamaura Junichi."

He raised an eyebrow (Oooohh, sexy...), and said, "Yeah, I know." Well, figures. Just 'cause the gods and Buddha and the universe had sent a gorgeous, shorter (Mwahaha!) man didn't necessarily mean my luck had improved.

And, damn it, he'd started walking away. And although it did give me a spectacular rear view, he was still leaving. Negative fifty points for Jun.

And then the guy looked over his shoulder at me, a slightly confused look on his face. "Are you coming?"

Oh, yes, sir.

By the time we'd reached the alleyway, I'd decided to just bite the bullet and ask him to repeat whatever the hell my coworker had been talking about.

Licking my lips nervously, I leaned against the wall and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it with a shaking hand. I was so nervous that I didn't even notice as the guy leaned against the wall next to me and lighted one of his own.

I did notice when his hip brushed mine, though. Turning another ridiculous and embarrassing bright shade, every word I'd ever learned since birth immediately flew out of my head.

Luckily, this guy could apparently read minds.

Inhaling his cigarette slowly (and about five billion times more sexily than I could ever even hope to accomplish), he looked down at his cigarette and said to it, "So, I take it that you weren't paying the slightest bit of attention to what was going on inside, then?"

It took me a minute or two to realise that he really meant me to respond and not his cigarette. "Ummm.... no. Not really. All I really caught is that your name is Shinya."

"Murata Shinya. My friend heard that you liked playing guitar and wanted to get into a band, so he figured he'd introduce us. See if I'd let you into my band or something."

Damn. So he wasn't trying to set us up.

"And then he asked me to accompany you outside, make sure you didn't get raped, that sort of thing."

Something of what I was thinking was probably showing on my face, because he grinned at me. "I'm really a lot tougher than I look, you know."

And I probably shouldn't have thought of what I did, but... after the way my night was going....

Fifteen minutes later, the Men of the Table of Horniness and my boss had been thrown out of the bar with bloody noses. The best part was, I wasn't even out of a job, 'cause my boss was too chicken-shit to fire me with my new bodyguard watching my back.

All in all, my new best friend was probably the best thing that ever happened to me.

Kirito yawned and stretched, setting his guitar aside. "You know, when I first met you, I thought you were a real idiot."

I can't help grinning. "I know."

"And I still don't understand why I was so protective of you from the beginning."

I threw my arms around his shoulders and hugged him tightly. "'Cause it's true loooooove!"

I felt him ruffle my hair, whispering affectionately, "Idiot."


Comments are love. ♥
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Piac: hidex_shock_me_x on March 24th, 2007 03:02 am (UTC)
aaaawww!!! cute fluff!!!!! :3 me likey!!!
☆Maddisujamie_kay180 on March 24th, 2007 03:09 am (UTC)
awww, poor Jun, glad he's got someone to watch his ass ;D

quite litterally xD
Omen-chanomen1x2 on March 30th, 2007 04:23 am (UTC)
Of course! Kirito can have a pleasant job of watching Jun's ass. What else are best friends for? XD
☆Maddisujamie_kay180 on March 30th, 2007 11:14 am (UTC)
buwahaha, exactly my point! thats exactly what best friends are for! :D
Kender: キリト \\ intriguingkinderegg88 on March 24th, 2007 03:36 am (UTC)
XDD Fluff love. X3 ♥

And sexy Kirito is ALWAYS good. ;D
Omen-chan: Kiritoomen1x2 on March 30th, 2007 04:24 am (UTC)
Dude, as if Kirito can be anything but sexy. ♥
Kenderkinderegg88 on March 30th, 2007 04:44 am (UTC)
Tell me about it! I was watching the my symphonic concert thing, and there was nothing but sexy emanating from that stage. Especially during Waltz, oh god. HE LICKED THE MIC STAND. AND DID HIS SWISHY DANCE.

Mizukikikai_no_yume on March 24th, 2007 08:23 am (UTC)
aww~ yaay for Kirito bodyguard=3
Tsukushi: Kirito - flyjuusuikan on March 24th, 2007 09:05 am (UTC)
This was really confusing.. X'D;
But I loved it nonetheless.
Took a while before my imagination started to work and picture Jun and Kito in the action, however I managed and me likes it \^^/ <3
yokozukiyokozuki on March 25th, 2007 04:47 am (UTC)
It's truuuuue wuuuuuuv!! It IS!!!

YAY for the KiriJun of AWESOMENESS!!!! ...and for very pretty Jun and very sexy Kirito. *o*
~Nuile~: kirinuile on March 25th, 2007 11:58 am (UTC)
Kawaii *~*
Me likes it very much!
ky-poofstupidfxxk on April 9th, 2007 07:13 am (UTC)
errr o/t i know
but i couldnt find your fonly comment post
if you have one

(limited time, my inet about to disconenct)
i know i haven't been a good friend at all
and we haven't even talked in a long time
but hopefully you`ll still add me
and i`ll try to rebuild a friensdhip w/ you ~
Omen-chanomen1x2 on April 16th, 2007 05:48 pm (UTC)
And you are...? ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
kyuichi18 on February 18th, 2008 11:52 am (UTC)
Hahahaha Awwwwwwwwww >< CUTE!!!
Omen-chan: Kirito - Agitatoromen1x2 on February 18th, 2008 12:23 pm (UTC)
Thankies! ^o^
morte_maiden: aki by sheetulamorte_maiden on July 6th, 2008 06:07 am (UTC)
Aww...You made me laugh, so you get points.
Funny fluff is <3
Omen-chanomen1x2 on July 6th, 2008 04:41 pm (UTC)
Ah, thank you!

There's something about pre-Pierrot and Indies-Pierrot that I just luuuuuuuuurve writing for.